


I Love You (As Much as Someone Like Me Can Love Anyone)

by winterfell_in_ruins



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: After the Railroad Ending, F/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 14:06:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14380236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterfell_in_ruins/pseuds/winterfell_in_ruins
Summary: You can always trust a liar to lie to you, but what about when they tell the truth?"Nora hadn’t believed him about the Deathclaws, about Barbara, not really. He hadn’t blamed her then, he had lied so many times. It hardly mattered that she’d known he was lying about being a synth or leading the Railroad – he’d still shown her again and again not to trust him. You can’t trust everyone, and certainly not a self-proclaimed fraud."





	I Love You (As Much as Someone Like Me Can Love Anyone)

‘Some dusty old philosopher thought people were made of metals, that defined their character. And you, my friend, are solid gold.’

 

_I love you._

 

‘Now let's go kick some ass.’

 

Nora grinned at his words, and Deacon smiled too. She turned at talked to Dez, probably already on to the next big mission. He hung back, not hiding for once, but to look at the place where the institute, C.I.T. had once been. The smoke was still billowing out of the crater, backlit against the setting sun. They never knew Charmer was against them till she showed up with an army. For a split second, Deacon felt a twinge of sympathy for the bastards. It passed quickly, and he turned to look at his partner.

 

After all this time in the Commonwealth, she bore little resemblance to the woman who had clambered out of the Vault, stumbling down to her ruined house and robot butler. If she was scared now, and god knows he would be, there wasn’t a trace of it on her face. There hadn’t been in months, and even before that she’d got steadily harder to read. She went from flinching at violence to a smirk that unsettled people, to a stone-faced impassiveness that was even scarier. People looked away from her stare now, preferring to flinch first than keep looking. Even Glory had commented that Charmer had become a badass.

 

_I love you._

 

Nora hadn’t believed him about the Deathclaws, about Barbara, not really. He hadn’t blamed her then, he had lied so many times. It hardly mattered that she’d known he was lying about being a synth or leading the Railroad – he’d still shown her again and again not to trust him. You can’t trust everyone, and certainly not a self-proclaimed fraud. But fuck, it had hurt. Getting what he deserved wasn’t much of a comfort, though after all the people he’d managed to convince with his bullshit, it figured that the important one wouldn’t trust the truth.

 

He hadn’t told anyone before, no one in the world knew the truth about who he was, his past. And he told her, because she mattered and she of all people deserved as much of the truth as he could give her. He had been so nervous, avoiding her eye contact behind the shades, not wanting to see her reaction. But she’d just asked questions, her voice carefully neutral. So eventually he looked up, to be met with her poker face.

 

“I don’t buy your whole story.” She had said it so casually.

 

And he had understood, hell he still did. He wouldn’t trust him. His heart was fucking broken, but those cracks were his own fault. He would have tried to protect his heart from her if he knew he still had one.

 

_I love you._

 

Deacon hadn’t said it then and he couldn’t say it now. She wouldn’t believe him even if he did.

 

She met his eyes and he thought she might know anyway. She probably thought he was lying.

 

She hadn’t gone back to HQ, and Deacon went where she went, even now. People were celebrating, even her friends were, and she was sitting in Mercer safe house. Close enough to walk to Diamond City, to see Nick and Piper, or even just her house there, which was far nicer than a safe house they hadn’t got around to cleaning up after the teleportation device.

 

Caretaker wasn’t there. Even that miserable bastard had probably decided to go celebrate.

 

Nora walked to one of the shacks, putting down the few things she had with her, and lit a fire. She went back to the shack, returning in a shirt and jeans and holding the vault suit she’d worn ever since he’d seen her. She threw it in the fire, and after that she threw in a holotape. She took off her wedding ring and that was the point that Deacon unfroze.

 

“Don’t. Charmer, you’ll regret it. Take it off if you need to, but ...”

 

He trailed off. Wedding rings weren’t something people did anymore, but he knew the significance.

 

She turned, tears starting to form, and a franticness about her that scared Deacon.

 

“Why the fuck not? I sold his. I sold it the first fucking chance I got. I was so desperate for caps that I just handed it over. I didn’t even think about it, I was selling anything I could and I just handed it over. What does one wedding ring matter in the grand scheme of things?”

 

She looked down at the ring.

 

“With everything I’ve lost Deacon, what’s a ring?”

 

“With everything you’ve lost, do you want to lose something else? Please, Nora.”

 

_I love you._

 

She looked straight at him, and it was all there, the emotion he hadn’t been able to read for months.

 

“I had to kill my son and they’re all congratulating me. And now I’m sitting here, wondering why the fuck I did it. Oh I know, I did it because it was the ‘right thing’. The thing that would help this hellhole that the world is now.”

 

Deacon didn’t say anything, but he took the glasses off and looked at her. He owed her that. He threw them in the fire too. The smell of burning plastic was disgusting, but it seemed to shake her out of whatever spiral she was in for a second, the fury turning to confusion.

 

“How’s that for symbolism then? You burn the suit; I burn the glasses – no more disguises. Or at least not the same ones.”

                        

_I love you, I love you, I love you._

“I’m willing to bet you have at least six or seven more pairs on you right now. An empty action to match your words Deacon.”

 

He frowned at that, but she didn’t give him a chance to reply. She kissed him. He froze for a second, but he wasn’t fool enough to think this would happen again. He kissed her back, kissing her goodbye, confessing his love, just telling her everything he wished she knew.

 

She pulled away first, and for a moment they just looked at each other, guards down, and no secrets.

 

“I love you.”

 

His words filled the silence between them. It was far, far, too late to tell her. Her eyes were wide, but not with surprise, and yes, she had known how he felt.

 

“I love you too.”

 

He didn’t believe her, but it was nice of her to have the decency to lie well.

**Author's Note:**

> I found this in a folder of things I had worked on a while back. It's not perfectly polished, but I am pretty happy with it. 
> 
> Details are very much based on my first playthrough where I went in blind and messed up in interesting ways. I felt very guilty when I realised I'd sold Nate's ring.


End file.
